Vampire Academy Chapter 13

THIRTEENTHE AFTERMATH OF JESSE AND Ralfs lies was most as horrible as Id expected. The only musical mode I survived was by putting blinders on, by ignoring e precise single and everything. It kept me sane b atomic number 18ly simply I dis worry it. I felt handle crying all the date. I lost my appetite and didnt sleep well.Yet, no payoff how hard it got for me, I didnt worry most myself as much as I did Lissa. She s overlyd by her promise to change things. It was slow at first, but gradually, I would see a royal or two come up to her at lunch or in course of instruction and say hello. Shed run on a brilliant smile, laughing and talking to them like they were all best friends.At first, I didnt understand how she was pulling it off. Shed told me she would use compulsion to win the other(a) royals over and turn them against Mia. But I didnt see it pass oning. It was possible, of course, that she was winning people over without compulsion. After all, she was funny, smart, a nd nice. Anyone would like her. Something told me she wasnt winning friends the old-fashioned modal value, and I in conclusion figured it out.She was using compulsion when I wasnt around. I only saw her for a small reveal of the day, and since she knew I didnt approve, she only worked her power when I was remote.After a any(prenominal) days of this secret compulsion, I knew what I needed to do I had to situate plunk for in her head again. By choice. Id make it before I could do it again.At least, thats what I told myself, sitting and spacing out in Stans class one day. But it wasnt as easy as Id thought it would be, partly because I felt too keyed up to relax and open myself to her thoughts. I also had trouble because I picked a time when she felt relatively calm. She came with and through the loudest when her emotions were running strong.Still, I tried to do what Id done before, back when Id spied on her and Christian. The meditation thing. Slow breathing. Eyes closed. Me ntal focus like that shut up wasnt easy for me, but at long death I managed the transition, slipping into her head and experiencing the world as hers. She stood in her American light up class, during project-work time, but, like most of the students, she wasnt working. She and Camille Conta leaned against a wall on the removed side of the room, talking in placid voices.Its gross, said Camille firmly, a fr cause crossing her pretty face. She had on a blue skirt make of velvet-like fabric, short enough to show off her long legs and possibly raise eyes somewhat(predicate) the suffice code. If you guys were doing it, Im not surprised she got addicted and did it with Jesse.She didnt do it with Jesse, insisted Lissa. And its not like we had sex. We just didnt have any feeders, thats all. Lissa cerebrate her full maintenance on Camille and smiled. Its no big deal. Everyones overreacting.Camille looked like she seriously doubted this, and then, the to a greater extent she st bed a t Lissa, the more unfocused her eyes became. A blank look fell over her.Right? asked Lissa, voice like silk. Its not a big deal.The frown returned. Camille tried to shake the compulsion. That fact that itd even gotten this far was incredible. As Christian had observed, using it on Moroi was unheard of.Camille, although strong-willed, lost the battle. Yeah, she said slowly. Its truly not that big a deal.And Jesses lying.She nodded. Definitely lying.A mental strain burned inside of Lissa as she held onto the compulsion. It took a push-down store of effort, and she wasnt finished.What are you guys doing tonight?Carly and I are going to study for Matthesons test in her room.Invite me.Camille thought about it. Hey, you want to study with us?Sure, said Lissa, smiling at her. Camille smiled back.Lissa dropped the compulsion, and a wave of dizziness sweep over her. She felt weak. Camille glanced around, momentarily surprised, then shook off the weirdness. take you after dinner then.See you, murmured Lissa, watching her walk a guidance. When Camille was gone, Lissa reached up to tie her hair up in a ponytail. Her fingers couldnt quite get all the hair through, and suddenly, another pair of give caught hold and helped her. She spun around and found herself staring into Christians ice-blue eyes. She jerked away from him.Dont do that she exclaimed, shivering at the realization that it had been his fingers touching her.He gave her his lazy, slightly twisted smile and fleecy a few pieces of unruly black hair out of his face. Are you asking me or ordinance me?Shut up. She glanced around, both to avoid his eyes and make sure no one saw them together.Whats the matter? Worried about what your slavesll compute if they see you talking to me?Theyre my friends, she retorted.Oh. Right. Of course they are. I miserly, from what I saw, Camille would probably do anything for you, right? Friends till the end. He crossed his arms over his chest, and in spite of her anger, she cou ldnt help but notice how the silvery gray of his shirt set off his black hair and blue eyes.At least she isnt like you. She doesnt pretend to be my friend one day and then ignore me for no reason.An un trusted look flickered across his features. Tension and anger had built up between them in the last week, ever since Id yelled at Christian after the royal reception. Believing what Id told him, Christian had stopped talking to her and had treated her rudely every time shed tried to start a conversation. Now, hurt and confused, shed given up attempts at being nice. The situation just kept getting worse and worse.Looking out through Lissas eyes, I could see that he still cared about her and still wanted her. His pride had been hurt, however, and he wasnt about to show weakness.Yeah? he said in a low, cruel voice. I thought that was the way all royals were supposed to act. You certainly seem to be doing a good job with it. Or peradventure youre just using compulsion on me to make me th ink youre a two-faced bitch. Maybe you really arent. But I doubt it.Lissa flushed at the word compulsion and cast another unhappy look around but decided not to give him the satisfaction of arguing anymore. She simply gave him one last glare before storming off to join a group of royals huddled over an appointment Returning to myself, I stared blankly around the classroom, processing what Id seen. Some tiny, tiny part of me was starting to intuitive intuitive feelinging sorry for Christian. It was only a tiny part, though, and very easy to ignore.At the beginning of the next day, I headed out to meet Dimitri. These practices were my favorite part of the day now, partly because of my stupid crush on him and partly because I didnt have to be around the others.He and I started with running as usual, and he ran with me, peacefulness and almost gentle in his instructions, probably worried about causing some sort of breakdown. He knew about the rumors somehow, but he never mentioned them.When we finished, he led me through an offensive exercise where I could use any makeshift weapons I could find to attack him. To my surprise, I managed to land a few blows on him, although they seemed to do me more damage than him. The impacts always made me stagger back, but he never budged. It still didnt stop me from attacking and attacking, fighting with an almost blind rage. I didnt survive who I really fought in those moments Mia or Jesse or Ralf. Maybe all of them.Dimitri finally called a break. We carried the equipment wed used on the case and returned everything to the supply room. While putting it away, he glanced at me and did a double take.Your hands. He swore in Russian. I could recognize it by now, but he refused to teach me what any of it meant. Where are your gloves?I looked down at my hands. Theyd suffered for weeks, and today had only made them worse. The cold had turned the skin raw and chapped, and some parts were very bleeding a minuscular. My blisters swelled. Dont have any. Never needed them in Portland.He swore again and beckoned me to a mince while he retrieved a first-aid kit. Wiping away the blood with a wet cloth, he told me gruffly, Well get you some.I looked down at my destroyed hands as he worked. This is only the start, isnt it?Of what?Me. Turning into Alberta. Herand all the other female guardians. Theyre all leathery and stuff. Fighting and training and always being outdoors they arent pretty anymore. I paused. Thisthis life. It destroys them. Their looks, I mean.He hesitated for a moment and looked up from my hands. Those warm brown eyes surveyed me, and something pie-eyedened in my chest. blasted it. I had to stop feeling this way around him. It wont happen to you. Youre too He groped for the right word, and I mentally substituted all sorts of possibilities. Goddess-like. Scorchingly sexy. Giving up, he simply said, It wont happen to you.He turned his attention back to my hands. Did hedid he think I was pretty? I never doubted the reaction I caused among guys my own age, but with him, I didnt tell apart. The tightening in my chest increased.It happened to my mom. She used to be beautiful. I guess she still is, sort of. But not the way she used to be. Bitterly, I added, Havent seen her in a while. She could look tout ensemble different for all I know.You dont like your mother, he observed.You noticed that, huh?You barely know her.Thats the point. She abandoned me. She left-hand(a) me to be raised by the Academy.When he finished cleaning my open wounds, he found a jar of salve and began rubbing it into the rough parts of my skin. I sort of got lost in the feel of his hands massaging mine.You say thatbut what else should she have done? I know you want to be a guardian. I know how much it means to you. Do you think she feels any differently? Do you think she should have quit to raise you when youd spend most of your life here anyway?I didnt like having reasonable arguments thrown at me. Ar e you saying Im a hypocrite?Im just saying mayhap you shouldnt be so hard on her. Shes a very respected dhampir woman. Shes set you on the pathway to be the same.It wouldnt kill her to visit more, I muttered. But I guess youre right. A little. It could have been worse, I suppose. I could have been raised with blood whores.Dimitri looked up. I was raised in a dhampir commune. They arent as bad as you think.Oh. I suddenly felt stupid. I didnt mean Its all right. He focused his attention back on my hands.So, did you, like, have family there? Grow up with them?He nodded. My mother and two sisters. I didnt see them much after I went to school, but we still keep in touch. Mostly, the communities are about family. Theres a lot of love there, no matter what stories youve heard.My bitterness returned, and I glanced down to hide my glare. Dimitri had had a happier family life with his disgraced mother and relatives than Id had with my respected guardian mother. He most certainly knew his mo ther intermit than I knew mine.Yeah, butisnt it weird? Arent there a lot of Moroi men visiting to, you know?His hands rubbed circles into mine. Sometimes.There was something dangerous in his tone, something that told me this was an unwelcome topic. I-Im sorry. I didnt mean to bring up something bad trulyyou probably wouldnt think its bad, he said after almost a minute had passed. A tight smile formed on his lips. You dont know your father, do you?I shook my head. No. wholly I know is he must have had wicked cool hair.Dimitri glanced up, and his eyes swept me. Yes. He must have. Returning to my hands, he said carefully, I knew mine.I froze. Really? Most Moroi guys dont stay I mean, some do, but you know, usually they just Well, he liked my mother. He didnt say liked in a nice way. And he visited her a lot. Hes my sisters father too. But when he camewell, he didnt treat my mother very well. He did some horrible things.Like I hesitated. This was Dimitris mother we were talking abo ut. I didnt know how far I could go. Blood-whore things?Like beating-her-up kinds of things, he replied flatly.Hed finished the bandages but was still holding my hands. I dont even know if he noticed. I certainly did. His were warm and large, with long and graceful fingers. Fingers that might have played the delicate in another life.Oh God, I said. How horrible. I tightened my hands in his. He squeezed back. Thats horrible. And sheshe just let it happen?She did. The corner of his mouth turned up into a sly, sad smile. But I didnt.Excitement surged through me. Tell me, tell me you beat the crap out of him.His smile grew. I did.Wow. I hadnt thought Dimitri could be any cooler, but I was wrong. You beat up your dad. I mean, thats really horriblewhat happened. But, wow. You really are a god.He blinked. What?Uh, nothing. Hastily, I tried to change the subject. How old were you?He still seemed to be dumbfound out the god comment. Thirteen.Whoa. Definitely a god. You beat up your dad whe n you were thirteen?It wasnt that hard. I was stronger than he was, almost as tall. I couldnt let him keep doing that. He had to learn that being royal and Moroi doesnt mean you can do anything you want to other people even blood whores.I stared. I couldnt see hed just said that about his mother. Im sorry.Its all right.Pieces clicked into place for me. Thats why you got so upset about Jesse, isnt it? He was another royal, trying to take advantage of a dhampir girl.Dimitri averted his eyes. I got upset over that for a lot of reasons. After all, you were breaking the rules, andHe didnt finish, but he looked back into my eyes in a way that made warmth build between us.Thinking about Jesse soon darkened my mood, unfortunately. I looked down. I know you heard what people are saying, that I I know its not true, he interrupted.His immediate, certain answer surprised me, and I stupidly found myself questioning it. Yeah, but how do you Because I know you, he replied firmly. I know your c haracter. I know youre going to be a great guardian.His self-assurance made that warm feeling return. Im glad someone does. Everyone else thinks Im totally irresponsible.With the way you worry more about Lissa than yourself He shook his head. No. You understand your responsibilities better than guardians twice your age. Youll do what you have to do to succeed.I thought about that. I dont know if I can do everything I have to do.He did that cool one-eyebrow thing.I dont want to cut my hair, I explained.He looked puzzled. You dont have to cut your hair. Its not required.All the other guardian women do. They show off their tattoos.Unexpectedly, he released my hands and leaned forward. Slowly, he reached out and held a keep mum of my hair, twisting it around one finger thoughtfully. I froze, and for a moment, there was nothing going on in the world except him touching my hair. He let my hair go, looking a little surprised and embarrassed at what hed done.Dont cut it, he said gruffly .Somehow, I remembered how to talk again. But no onell see my tattoos if I dont.He moved toward the doorway, a small smile playing over his lips. bankrupt it up.